Introduction

The first edition of this book was written at the request of a dad, a friend of our family. He and his wife were raising three lively kids. I can see him standing there, children dancing around his  legs in a public place, asking me why no one had done the good deed of really helping parents teach their children manners. Oh yes, there were plenty of etiquette books out there, but honestly  they were more like encyclopedias than easy-to-read parenting books. What could I do to make teaching manners simple for him?

I realized that what he said was true. I’d been teaching kids manners in all kinds of venues—camps and schools and country clubs—and they seemed to really take to the lessons. Nobody  wants to be socially clueless, even kids. And parents know intuitively that a well-mannered child will have a more successful life than one who isn’t. Plus, their lives as parents will be happier as  well. As I thought about it, I realized that there was a need to put manners guidelines into manageable chunks for busy parents. Why not just collect the themes that applied to kids? Why not  serve them up in a one-a-day format? It seemed like a good idea. And thus 365 Manners Kids Should Know was born.
When the first edition was set to hit bookstores (ten years ago!), I talked with my publisher about the practical guide we’d created. We couldn’t wait to see how it was received, to hear from  parents who found it helpful.
And then the unthinkable happened in New York City. The Twin Towers at the World Trade Center were hit. The tragedy of 9/11 consumed our thinking, and my publicist felt we should lower our  expectations. The book was due out in a month, and a kids’ manners book was not weighty enough to get much attention in such an atmosphere. The world would be focused on bigger things. 
I hoped my publicist was missing the importance of what we’d created. Though the recent tragedy was great, and while the world may have felt out of control, I stood by my belief that the one  part of life we could control was our behavior at home. We could create sanctuaries of courtesy and kindness. We could choose to relate to one another with respect—by saying good morning to each  other, by knocking gently on a door before entering, by making conversation at the dinner table as important as gulping down food. This would make our world—at least our small personal world— a more peaceful place. In fact, wasn’t this exactly the book parents needed, and at exactly the right time?